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The Muslim Way of Speaking: Not Talking Behind Others' Backs or Gossiping

Contents
  1. Introduction
  2. The Importance of the Muslim Way of Speaking
  3. Praising the Might of Allah
  4. Remembering Allah Frequently
  5. The Aspects of the Muslim Way of Speaking
  6. Calling on Allah Through His Beautiful Names
  7. Speaking in the Knowledge that Allah is with You at Every Moment
  8. Speaking So as Not to Associate Others with Allah
  9. Speaking So as to Praise and Exalt Allah
  10. Speaking in the Knowledge of One's Helplessness in the Face of Allah
  11. Speaking in the Knowledge that Tasks are Performed Through Allah's Will
  12. Employing the Qur'an as a Guide in Speech
  13. Speaking in the Knowledge of the Certainty of Fate and of the Truth that There is Good in All Things
  14. Speaking Through Trust in Allah
  15. Speaking with Awareness that the Life of the World is Transitory
  16. Showing Concern in Speech for the Lawful and the Unlawful
  17. Avoiding the Style of Speech Influenced by Satan and Taking Refuge from Satan in Allah
  18. Enjoining What is Right and Forbidding What is Wrong
  19. Speaking with Wisdom
  20. Speaking in a Sincere Manner
  21. Speaking the Truth
  22. Speaking Sensibly and Logically
  23. Giving Good Tidings
  24. Speaking So as to Arouse Joy and Enthusiasm
  25. Saying What is Best
  26. Not Speaking from the Lower-self and from Personal Desires
  27. Speaking in a Measured, Courteous and Respectful Manner
  28. Speaking in a Humble Manner
  29. Speaking with Tolerance and Forgiveness
  30. Consulting
  31. Saying It is as Allah Wills the Re is No Strength but in Allah
  32. Speaking Well with One's Parents
  33. Not Talking Behind Others' Backs or Gossiping
  34. Avoiding Suspicion and Slander
  35. Not Speaking in a Mocking Manner
  36. Avoiding Speaking Out of Covetousness and Envy
  37. Not Making Empty and Trivial Statements
  38. Not Interrupting and Speaking Calmly
  39. Employing a Style of Speech Appropriate to the Level of Knowledge of the Person Addressed
  40. Avoiding Speaking Hypocritically
  41. Avoiding a Way of Speech Which Gives Rise to Doubts
  42. Avoiding a Probing and Prying Speech
  43. Avoiding Statements that Lead to Evil
  44. Avoiding Obfuscation
  45. Not Holding Secret Meetings
  46. Speaking So as to Defend and to Support Our Prophets a as
  47. Conclusion

Instead of telling others about their faults and defects to their faces, people of low morality talk instead behind their backs. These people have no desire of leading others in a better way, or of helping them to correct their ways. They plunge into gossip for mundane purposes, such as to pass the time, to degrade the reputation of those they dislike, to belittle and mock them, or to glorify themselves at the expense of others. This vile behavior is so widespread amongst certain groups of people that they have made gossip a form of entertainment, or even a normal way of life by which they are even found to earn a living. In our time, and in several countries around the world, a great number of newspapers and magazines are published, and television shows produced for the sole purpose of spreading gossip. Publications and broadcasts of this type aim to justify this form of deviance, otherwise known as gossip, and present is as socially acceptable.

In fact, these people are contradicting themselves, because, though they enjoy gossiping about others, when they find themselves in the same situation, they then realize how despicable this behavior is. But, in spite of this, they do not stop gossiping, so long as they themselves are not exposed. When they meet one whom they had been critisizing just a few minutes earlier, as if nothing had happened, they continue their phony friendship, speaking with them insincerely. Moreover, this behavior contributes to a vicious circle; two people get together and gossip about a third, then one of these people gossips with the third person about the other, and later the other two people come together and gossip about the absentee. Nobody points out to anyone else that gossip is wrong, on the contrary, they maintain that it is harmless, that it adds color to life and provides entertainment to themselves.

Allah notifies people through the Qur'an of the incorrectness of this behavior; in a verse of the Qur'an, Allah tells us that the gossip of people behind one another's backs is just as repugnant as "a person eating his brother's dead flesh":

You who believe! Avoid most suspicion. Indeed some suspicion is a crime. And do not spy and do not backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat his brother's dead flesh? No, you would hate it. And heed Allah. Allah is Ever-Returning, Most Merciful.

Surat al-Hujurat: 12

In another verse, Allah explains in following manner the recompense received in the afterlife by those claiming that gossip is entertaining and try to excuse it as acceptable:

Woe to every faultfinding backbiter.

Surat al-Humaza: 1

No indeed! He will be flung into the Shatterer. And what will convey to you what the Shatterer is? The kindled Fire of Allah reaching right into the heart. It is sealed in above them in towering columns.

Surat al-Humaza: 4-9

This way of speaking by those who are far from the morality of the Qur'an is not to be found amongst the faithful. The faithful, knowing that Allah listens in on every conversation everywhere, studiously refrain from uttering a word which they know He will find spiteful, because a word uttered in another's absence is of no use either to that person or to the one who speaks it. Though in this manner other persons' defects may be analyzed or revealed, because they do not know about it, it is impossible for them to make any alteration in their behavior. So long as these defects are not explained to the related persons, and they do not recognize them for themselves, there is no possibility of them correcting them. Because of this, the faithful pass on to each other all their opinions, positive or negative, about one another, without reluctance. They know that true friendship and sincerity are dependent upon it, and that explaining faults to a person they like is not doing him or her harm but good. Their aim is to lead one another to a better, finer and purer morality.

This is a requirement of Allah as set out in the Qur'an: of "enjoining the good and forbidding the wrong."